Joke
I haven't literally LOL'ed in such a long time but this one broke my silence. :smiley-rofl:
A construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. He spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.
He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his penis and starts masturbating.
The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!".
The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"
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I haven't literally LOL'ed in such a long time but this one broke my silence. :smiley-rofl:
A construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. He spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.
He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his penis and starts masturbating.
The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!".
The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"
What's even more funny is that vid of that guy pop-lockin and tapping his junk from behind....now that's classic.
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What's even more funny is that vid of that guy pop-lockin and tapping his junk from behind....now that's classic.
An airplane is decreasing speed very rapidly going downward, the pilot comes over the intercom and says I'm sorry it had to come to this folks, but unfortunately we're going to have to let some of the luggage go'.... The plane continues to decrease speed.
Again you hear the pilot over the intercom 'I hate to have to do this but now we're going to have to start releasing passengers by alphabetical order beginning with the letter 'A!!!..... Africans, any Africans!?.... No one answers 'B!!! 'Black People, any Black People!? again, silence. 'C!!! 'Colored People, any Colored People!?... silence.
A black little boy in the back turns to his mother and says 'but mom, ain't we African American? aren't we Black? aren't we Colored? 'the mother turns to her son and says 'Yes son, but today we're n*ggas!!!!... Mexicans go first!..
The little black boy turns to the little Mexican kid seating next to him and laughs...
The Mexican kid laughs back and says today I'm a Wetback...
View original BBCode
An airplane is decreasing speed very rapidly going downward, the pilot comes over the intercom and says I'm sorry it had to come to this folks, but unfortunately we're going to have to let some of the luggage go'.... The plane continues to decrease speed.
Again you hear the pilot over the intercom 'I hate to have to do this but now we're going to have to start releasing passengers by alphabetical order beginning with the letter 'A!!!..... Africans, any Africans!?.... No one answers 'B!!! 'Black People, any Black People!? again, silence. 'C!!! 'Colored People, any Colored People!?... silence.
A black little boy in the back turns to his mother and says 'but mom, ain't we African American? aren't we Black? aren't we Colored? 'the mother turns to her son and says 'Yes son, but today we're n*ggas!!!!... Mexicans go first!..
The little black boy turns to the little Mexican kid seating next to him and laughs...
The Mexican kid laughs back and says today I'm a Wetback...
TLontheDL;190234 wrote:An airplane is decreasing speed very rapidly going downward, the pilot comes over the intercom and says I'm sorry it had to come to this folks, but unfortunately we're going to have to let some of the luggage go'.... The plane continues to decrease speed.
Again you hear the pilot over the intercom 'I hate to have to do this but now we're going to have to start releasing passengers by alphabetical order beginning with the letter 'A!!!..... Africans, any Africans!?.... No one answers 'B!!! 'Black People, any Black People!? again, silence. 'C!!! 'Colored People, any Colored People!?... silence.
A black little boy in the back turns to his mother and says 'but mom, ain't we African American? aren't we Black? aren't we Colored? 'the mother turns to her son and says 'Yes son, but today we're n*ggas!!!!... Mexicans go first!..
The little black boy turns to the little Mexican kid seating next to him and laughs...
The Mexican kid laughs back and says today I'm a Wetback...
:inouteek:=?
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[quote=TLontheDL;190234]An airplane is decreasing speed very rapidly going downward, the pilot comes over the intercom and says I'm sorry it had to come to this folks, but unfortunately we're going to have to let some of the luggage go'.... The plane continues to decrease speed.
Again you hear the pilot over the intercom 'I hate to have to do this but now we're going to have to start releasing passengers by alphabetical order beginning with the letter 'A!!!..... Africans, any Africans!?.... No one answers 'B!!! 'Black People, any Black People!? again, silence. 'C!!! 'Colored People, any Colored People!?... silence.
A black little boy in the back turns to his mother and says 'but mom, ain't we African American? aren't we Black? aren't we Colored? 'the mother turns to her son and says 'Yes son, but today we're n*ggas!!!!... Mexicans go first!..
The little black boy turns to the little Mexican kid seating next to him and laughs...
The Mexican kid laughs back and says today I'm a Wetback...[/quote]
:inouteek:=?
lol that shit is hella funny...i say official joke thread anyone? :D
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lol that shit is hella funny...i say official joke thread anyone? :D
keep them coming. those 2 jokes are grade A.
make sure the jokes added in here live up to its standards please.
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keep them coming. those 2 jokes are grade A.
make sure the jokes added in here live up to its standards please.
hahahah wtf to the later joke ............. omg i needed that on this shitty ass day
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hahahah wtf to the later joke ............. omg i needed that on this shitty ass day
LOL oh shit is HELLA EARLY in the morning but that was FUNNY @ss shizzle lets get it crack'n!
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LOL oh shit is HELLA EARLY in the morning but that was FUNNY @ss shizzle lets get it crack'n!
Hotel Bill
Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you might want to consider
this:
Husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston ...
After almost twenty-four hours on the road, They're too tired to continue,
and they decide to stop for a rest.
They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for
four hours and then get back on the road.
When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for
$350.00.
The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high.
He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't
worth $350.00!
When the clerk tells him $350.00 is the standard rate, the man insists on
speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel
has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available
for the husband and wife to use.
'But we didn't use them,' the man complains.
'Well, they are here, and you could have,' explains the Manager.
He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which
the hotel is famous.
'The best entertainers from New York , Hollywood and Las Vegas perform
here,' the Manager says.
'But we didn't go to any of those shows,' complains the man again.
'Well, we have them, and you could have,' the Manager replies.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentions, the man replies, 'But we didn't
use it!'
The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay.
He writes a check and gives it to the Manager.
The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. 'But sir,' he says,
this check is only made out for $50.00.'
'That's correct,' says the man. 'I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with my
wife.'
'But I didn't!' exclaims the Manager.
'Well, too bad,' the man replies. 'She was here and you could have.'
===========
Hahaha just read that one over on CL
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Hotel Bill
Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you might want to consider
this:
Husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston ...
After almost twenty-four hours on the road, They're too tired to continue,
and they decide to stop for a rest.
They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for
four hours and then get back on the road.
When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for
$350.00.
The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high.
He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't
worth $350.00!
When the clerk tells him $350.00 is the standard rate, the man insists on
speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel
has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available
for the husband and wife to use.
'But we didn't use them,' the man complains.
'Well, they are here, and you could have,' explains the Manager.
He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which
the hotel is famous.
'The best entertainers from New York , Hollywood and Las Vegas perform
here,' the Manager says.
'But we didn't go to any of those shows,' complains the man again.
'Well, we have them, and you could have,' the Manager replies.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentions, the man replies, 'But we didn't
use it!'
The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay.
He writes a check and gives it to the Manager.
The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. 'But sir,' he says,
this check is only made out for $50.00.'
'That's correct,' says the man. 'I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with my
wife.'
'But I didn't!' exclaims the Manager.
'Well, too bad,' the man replies. 'She was here and you could have.'
===========
Hahaha just read that one over on CL
AHAHAHAHAH.... funny shit!
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AHAHAHAHAH.... funny shit!
A hillbilly was fucking his sister and she started to laugh. The boy asked whats so funny sis? She said, you fuck like dad. He said I know mom told me.
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A hillbilly was fucking his sister and she started to laugh. The boy asked whats so funny sis? She said, you fuck like dad. He said I know mom told me.
