F*** my life...

[url]http://www.fmylife.com/[/url]



"Today, I was feeling up my girlfriends chest. I was getting into it until she said "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "Thats not my nipple, its a pimple." I felt up a pimple. FML"

"Today, at 4 AM, I locked myself out of my apartment. After calling friends in vain, I decided to just sit on the doorstep and wait for someone to come in. I sat for 10 minutes before a homeless man insisted threateningly that I move. I was kicked off my own front doorstep by a homeless man. FML"



Share some of your FMLs....  :smiley-rofl::smiley-rofl::smiley-rofl:

lololololol..

the FML app on my phone makes for a great way to kill some time. You gotta check out the top rated, they are epic. one great one:

"Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward." I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy of her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML":innoutrofl2:

Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML

Been browsing this site forever.

There's also [url]http://mylifeiscrap.com/[/url] which gave the following:

Today, my friend bet me $1000 I couldn’t sleep with this really hot (however rather ****ty) girl at school. I figured the easiest option would be to just split the money 50/50 with her and just tell the guy we had sex. She said “we can have sex, as long as you still give me 50%”. I think I’m about to sleep with a prostitute…MLIC

lol, ahahaha

lol i read one of their stories a while back, i couldnt stop laughing...lemme find it

awesome thread!

Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML

:smiley-rofl:  oh man this one got me hurtin

Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin Donut's coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double D's you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the Coffee. FML

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "because you can't find a real girl I made your current one prettier, Love Mom.FML

i seen this on zilvia a while back..herra funny

[URL="http://www.fmylife.com/sex/946704"]Today, My girlfriend and I were watching TV, randomly she starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off.[/URL][URL="http://www.fmylife.com/sex/946704"] Right as I'm starting to get really excited she says to me "Just Joking".[/URL][URL="http://www.fmylife.com/sex/946704"] FML[/URL]


[URL="http://www.fmylife.com/sex/253938"]Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know.[/URL][URL="http://www.fmylife.com/sex/253938"] I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out.[/URL][URL="http://www.fmylife.com/sex/253938"] Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled : "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time.[/URL][URL="http://www.fmylife.com/sex/253938"] FML[/URL]


lmfao!:smiley-rofl:

[U]This is a cool thread.[/U]